Moe's Journal

Ok, I cave.

Miranda_Hobbs

Thats my new lj.

Now theres no need to use this one.

I don't care about it anymore.

If you're reading this, you obviously still do.

Leave a comment.

To Krista and Mel, I can't add you to my friends list, and you can't be on mine. That would defeat the whole purpose of making a new one. Both of you can email me (since I don't know your address) and I promise I'll add you. :) Just don't tell anyone.

Paula is moved in now, and we're pretty much settled away. Its sooo fun with her here. She's gone home again now though, for the weekend. She wanted to go home to see her dogs, and it turns out her dad is gone somewhere for the weekend with them. sux.

God, I can't wait for everyone to get back out here in town. Dying for a good drunk. Ryan and I were thinking about it, and if its ok with Paula we might have some people over for a BarBQ. Might invite some friends from Mary's Harbour too. Its been a while.

Shauna is in town again. She's leaving tomorrow though. We hung out a few times since she was in, but we didn't really do anything. Had a few people in one night when she was here. Nothing serious, but fun.

She was here last night, and after she left she called and told me there's a girl that lives in Mary's Harbour now that was rushed to the Janeway. She had to get her leg amputated to her hip because she has a flesh-eating disease. They don't know if she'll make it. I don't know her, she only moved there a couple years ago. And she's a little younger. But still, just knowing that something like that, that could be contagious, is so close to home. That poor girl. She has everyone up there frigtened to death. Not only for their sakes, but for hers as well. Hopefully though, its not contagious. And she comes out of it ok.

Ryan, Paula and I went shopping the other day, and Ryan got some supper hot stuff. Glad he finally picked out something nice for himself. And now all his clothes isn't t-shirts.

Did I mention that our room is awesome???? I invite you all (sorta) to come see. Beware of jealousy.

I have a new journal. Email me at wetnwild_6969@hotmail.com for acess. If you don't, don't expect to find it out.

bye.

- First of all, (and I'm really excited about this and I don't really give a fuck if you like her or not) ASHLEE SIMPSON IS COMING OUT WITH A NEW CD!!!!!

-Secondly SO IS JESSICA!!!!

So excited for both of them. Hopefully Ash won't lose too much, since the whole SNL scandal. She shouldn't of lip synked (spelling?) but she doesn't deserve all the smack she was given. The girl was sick. Don't believe it? Watch the Ashlee Simpson Show.

- Ryan will have the hardwood put down in the floor tonight, so we're moving in da mar. lol.

- I'm thinking of going back to school. If possible, this Jan.

- Paula will soon be coming out with her stuff, and she'll be moved in before we know it. Can't wait.

I think thats pretty much it for good news.  Oh, besides that if my schedule for next week is like it was for the past 2, I might go home.  I've only been in once this summer.  I'd like to go for a ride on moms bike.  And see JOEY!!!!!

God, seems like forever, doesn't it? I check LJ everyday, sometimes several times, but I never write in it anymore.

I'm home alone now, Ryan has work. He's off at 7, so its finally some time that we can actually spend together. The poor boy hasn't stopped, with work and painting the room, he's had no time to do anything else. This weekend sometime, he's leaving for home. A week or thereabouts without him. Its gonna be so lonely. Hopefully, Paula will be coming out with some furniture, she'll be some company, until she leaves again that is (duh). The thing about it is that Ryan and I will just move into our new room, when he has to leave. All he has to do know is put the hardwood down, and out the moulding back on. Its gonna be so good to be in a brand new room, with a brand new bed, with an old boyfriend. When he leaves though I'll have that big double bed all to myself. And the cat too, I guess.

Its gonna be so lonely/boring without Ryan. Hopefully I'll have to work a lot. Hopefully though, I can get another job I was thinking about that they have at the mall. McDonald's is apparently hiring on 30 more people this fall, and none of us that are working there now are getting enough hours. Like, 20. I need at least 30 to make it. If I get that job, I'll work both those places, and since McDonalds claims to be so flexable with hours, I might just keep that job. I like it there a lot, though the past couple days have been very slow. The manager ended up sending like 4 of us home early last night.

Mom is back from her trip. She called me this morining. She had a good time, she said. And she saw my nan. GO NAN! woot! Turns out though, shes losing her eyesight, becasue of her diabetes, but mom said she don't have a rinkle in her face. Shes in her mid 80's, for sure. But everybody always said that the Coish's always look younger then they are. But, I guess if nan looks young, it because of the Ackermans then. I don't know, so confusing. Though not really, hey?

Thats enough blabbing from me today.

Hopefully, this entry won't get anyone in trouble.

After all this time, you'd think I'd be used to it. For months now, its been all the way downhill. I saw it coming. I warned myself. But, there was nothing I could do. It wasn't up to me, the way things turned out was because of what I did, but it was her choice to do with it what she did. I can honestly say that the hardest part of Ryan and I breaking up, was not having her. She hates me for what I did. And I just don't get it. People have cheated before, and I only KISSED another guy. Other people in her life have cheated, to the max, but that don't seem to matter to her. She forgave them! Why not me? She told me she needed time to process it all, right at the beginning, but she didn't. She just held that grudge. What makes it worse is that she acted like she wanted to make amends. There were times I actually had to remind myself that she hated me. Everything seemed back to normal, but that was just her way of making me feel worse. I tried to patch things up the best I could without treating myself like a doormat. I did. But it didn't work. Do you know how hard it is to block your best friend from MSN? And not want to talk to her anymore, ever? I do. I'm torn, I don't know how to feel about their breakup. On the surface, I was glad it happend, because now she feels the same way I did that 3 weeks without Ryan, and how misrable I was without them both. Underneath, I feel so sorry for her. Cause I know how much it hurts. And to not have your best friend there for you (though I'm sure she has me replaced) while your going through that makes it that much harder. But, I guess that was her decision. I WOULD be there. If she would let me.

I think.


[ Looking for a new best friend. Any takers ???]

I'm still sick today. Late last night I started to get a stuffy nose and all that cool stuff. And my ears are bothering me a lot. Both Ryan and I have to work at wall-mart at 5, so we have to leave here at 3. That sucks, but thats the way the buses work. And I'd rather do that then have to pay for a $20.00 cab ride. Today, I only have a five hour shift, so hopefully I won't be that bad. I don't want to take any time off, not for a while. But, if I get sick I guess thats all I can do.

I have tomorrow off, so I told Ryan I'm gonna take that day to drug up and get better. This really isn't a good time for me to get sick, where we're in the process of moving and all. Can't wait to get into that room, and have it all over with.

The room is almost painted. WE just need to paint the doors, the inside of the closet, and the mouldings. The red looks good, and it only needed 4 coats. Thats enough.

Guess I better go get ready.

Today, I am not my bright, cheery, miraculous self. I think I have strip throat. Which is awesome. Does my immune system KNOW its Augest???? I don't think so.

I had a meeting to go to at 11 for work, and I was only there for a few minutes, and its sucked that I had to get up that early, but I got a shower right after I got up and it felt beyond satisfying. And I dried my hair for the first time in 259805358 years and it looked like fine strings of gold, with little stubborn curls at the very end. Meeting went good, and I was back home with a Big Mac for me, a parfet (or however the hell its spelt) for Luffie and a salad for us to share. Yumm.

Then, after a bit, I fell asleep. I was in agony from my throat, and Silly Ryan would ask me to repeat EVERYTHING I said. This wouldn't be so bad, but sometimes while I was not even half way through my sentence, he would finish it like he knew what I said and just wanted to agrivate. Did a good job, he did.

Then, and this is the highlight of my day. Ryan saw these two HUGE sluggs on the side of our house and called me out to look at em. So, I did. Then came back inside to get some salt. Then I threw it at those too like it was rice and they were newlyweds. So romantic. Should of saw those buggers melt. Amazing.

Ok, so I decided to not be such a homo and start making my entries public. Thats right, I'm out of the Friends Only closet, and its so much better out here. I just think its time that if I want to bitch about something, I could have the whole world listen to me then just a handful. Wouldn't everybody?

Ok. I desided to filter my friends list. The only way to be fair is to delete everyone, and get them to give me 5 good reasons why they should have access to my journal. Leave the reasons, and I'll see for myself if you are worthy to know my business. Now, some of you really don't have to give me reasons, cause I have trust in you guys (you should know who you all are). But, to be fair, leave 5 reasons like everyone else. Please be honest, and entirely YOU! Not a fake ass. k?

I have decided to make this journal Friends Only. Why? I don't know. Protection purposes, I guess. Comment to this and I will consider adding you.

Auf Wiedersehn

On a lovers thigh
you lay your head
and bury your mind
until everything you know
becomes better
becomes bigger
becomes brighter than you think.

You let a tear fall,
roll down your sweet cheek
where it finds imagination
and jumps to your neck
where it gets wiped away
by a hand that loves your sweet cheeks too